So! Today I woke up for work, went in, and proceeded to fail. xD Its funny, cause the day before I was a fucking pro. Okay, about a pro as a newbie can be, but everyone gave me compliments all day. Today? I got compliments on my work... but got told to step-aside a lot. Oh! And it turns out Junior Ham Melts are Junior Roast Melts to me. I made like 3 roasts instead of hams. I felt super bad about that. They said it was no big deal, and the manager pretty much told me "You are doing great, I am really impressed. Just relax, okay? I don't bite."
I suppose, looking back, I was really nervous. The reason was 1. My manager was ripping into a co-worker, so I made sure to do everything to avoid the warpath. 2. I was supposed to learn specialty sandwiches, but because of how busy and how poorly my partner performed, I learned nothing and felt useless. Overall I like my job though. (Especially the free food I got today.)
When I got home, I texted Brittany. I wanted to see what her intentions were with the text she sent me a while back. Was she trying to re-start a friendship? Was she honestly just asking about where to take her date? I didn't really get anywhere with it, as we talked about the pros and cons of my job. I guess, with her, I can't really know what she is thinking. So! Instead I tried to think as to why I wanted to know so bad. I decided that it was because I had no idea what I felt about her myself, and spent the rest of the day pondering it.
In the end I decided that I cared about her, but nothing deep. I tried getting close to her, and got denied at each turn, so I don't want to repeat the past. If she wants to turn this into an actual friendship, then I would be glad, and help it where I can.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Entry 2: Waiting for my real life to begin
The title is in reference to a sad song I listen to pretty regularly, but I also feel fits my current life. Right now I am kinda fucked, and everything I am doing is not really helping me progress in life... but only helping me keep afloat and not end up in jail. Once I am done with all of this, my real life can begin.
So today was rather... annoying. I awoke to being told to go pick up dog shit. "But Don, the snow is thick so I cannot see the shit. Also, our pooper scooper is missing." Yeah, apparently both of those things are not viable reasons not to do it. So, since my parents can't understand its impossible, I just did not do it. Instead I tried to converse with my mother. The funny thing is, however, my brother was here and had no school. What this means for our family is that everyone else is second best. Honestly, she is short and pissy with everyone else in the house except for him. Its fucking disgusting.
Still, this is nothing new. I have long since accepted the fact my mom thinks she went wrong with me, and she no longer cares. (Both quotes, btw) When she gets like this, I stay in my room, and don't bother even trying to get involved in her affairs. So when she called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with the family, I said "No, I feel no desire to eat with you since you have been nothing but cold and shitty to me all day. Enjoy dinner with your favorite son." Was it mean? Yes. But I am sick and tired of her pretending to not favor Kaghen when the rest of us not only know it, but also deal with it in our own ways.
I guess I am just tired of people around here. They do nothing but argue, bitch, and enjoy it. I kind of really fucking hate it...
So today was rather... annoying. I awoke to being told to go pick up dog shit. "But Don, the snow is thick so I cannot see the shit. Also, our pooper scooper is missing." Yeah, apparently both of those things are not viable reasons not to do it. So, since my parents can't understand its impossible, I just did not do it. Instead I tried to converse with my mother. The funny thing is, however, my brother was here and had no school. What this means for our family is that everyone else is second best. Honestly, she is short and pissy with everyone else in the house except for him. Its fucking disgusting.
Still, this is nothing new. I have long since accepted the fact my mom thinks she went wrong with me, and she no longer cares. (Both quotes, btw) When she gets like this, I stay in my room, and don't bother even trying to get involved in her affairs. So when she called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with the family, I said "No, I feel no desire to eat with you since you have been nothing but cold and shitty to me all day. Enjoy dinner with your favorite son." Was it mean? Yes. But I am sick and tired of her pretending to not favor Kaghen when the rest of us not only know it, but also deal with it in our own ways.
I guess I am just tired of people around here. They do nothing but argue, bitch, and enjoy it. I kind of really fucking hate it...
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Entry 1: Blizzards suck
So yesterday I noticed there were 3 voicemails on my phone. Wondering how my cell phone got calls without me hearing it ring (I keep it on me all the time) I checked them. The first one was my step-dad telling me to answer my god damn phone. Delete. Second one was a job offer... that was two weeks old. Delete and cut wrists. The third was my probation officer telling me that she wanted me to call her. Why? She was the one who wanted me to call in my probation meetings, not me. Why talk to me personally, costing me more money, part-way through my probation? Guess I will just chalk it up as another idiocy of the courts.
So I got online and started to play video games. See, I am playing this one game called League of Legends. Entirely PvP, there are about 67 different characters you can choose to play as. As you can imagine you can't be proficient in all of them, so I chose one who I like the story of to play (cause I am a lore junkie like that). My favorite one by far is called Jax, the Grandmaster at Arms. Jax is a tanky melee fighter who, after winning 187 consecutive games, was banned from using real weapons. So now he simply uses a brass lampost, a chicken foot, and a fishing pole. After being restricted to just those weapons, he continued to kick ass, but uses them anyway for the fucking hell of it.
Now, I think this is the most bad-ass thing imaginable. I mean, using a fishing pole to beat up people who have trained their whole lives to wield swords capable of cutting through steel? You sir, win. Anyway, I was playing as Jax and not being bad-ass myself. In fact, I was getting more and more pissed cause I thought about how that job offer would have been fucking amazing! It was where I wanted to work, girl was a manager, and...GAH! It would have been fucking epic!
Eventually I just stopped playing, and decided I was going out and getting a fucking job. So I got in my car, pulled out of my driveway, and got stuck. Remember that blizzard? Yeah, fucked me in the ass. DA ASS! So I pretty much just got out, pulled out a shovel and scraper, and started moving snow from around and underneath my car. Did that for about 20 minutes, with no luck. Yeah, I was pissed. My mom came home, and started to promptly laugh and make fun of me. Afterwards she got in my car after having me try to get out, threw it in reverse, and pulled out of the snow like it was nothing. She then proceeded to laugh harder, and told me to not leave for the rest of the day.
I HATE BLIZZARDS!
The rest of the day went uneventfully. My mommy brought home Wendy's burgers, so I was able to remember how much I loved their burgers... and how much I hated their french fries. Seriously, Burger king is the only fast food place that have decent burgers and fries. Scratch that, Arby's is the best! *silently cries over lost job*
So I got online and started to play video games. See, I am playing this one game called League of Legends. Entirely PvP, there are about 67 different characters you can choose to play as. As you can imagine you can't be proficient in all of them, so I chose one who I like the story of to play (cause I am a lore junkie like that). My favorite one by far is called Jax, the Grandmaster at Arms. Jax is a tanky melee fighter who, after winning 187 consecutive games, was banned from using real weapons. So now he simply uses a brass lampost, a chicken foot, and a fishing pole. After being restricted to just those weapons, he continued to kick ass, but uses them anyway for the fucking hell of it.
Now, I think this is the most bad-ass thing imaginable. I mean, using a fishing pole to beat up people who have trained their whole lives to wield swords capable of cutting through steel? You sir, win. Anyway, I was playing as Jax and not being bad-ass myself. In fact, I was getting more and more pissed cause I thought about how that job offer would have been fucking amazing! It was where I wanted to work, girl was a manager, and...GAH! It would have been fucking epic!
Eventually I just stopped playing, and decided I was going out and getting a fucking job. So I got in my car, pulled out of my driveway, and got stuck. Remember that blizzard? Yeah, fucked me in the ass. DA ASS! So I pretty much just got out, pulled out a shovel and scraper, and started moving snow from around and underneath my car. Did that for about 20 minutes, with no luck. Yeah, I was pissed. My mom came home, and started to promptly laugh and make fun of me. Afterwards she got in my car after having me try to get out, threw it in reverse, and pulled out of the snow like it was nothing. She then proceeded to laugh harder, and told me to not leave for the rest of the day.
I HATE BLIZZARDS!
The rest of the day went uneventfully. My mommy brought home Wendy's burgers, so I was able to remember how much I loved their burgers... and how much I hated their french fries. Seriously, Burger king is the only fast food place that have decent burgers and fries. Scratch that, Arby's is the best! *silently cries over lost job*
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